Alright, I only have a few hours left at work and I am writing this to appear busy and stop any questions people might have for me now.
If you are looking for actual good advice on work, please to stay clear of this :P
But if you want a laugh, go on.
- You are not the hero they deserve. You are not even the hero they need. So stop being so hyper active and take it slow.
- Your hard work will NOT impress your TL. It will only make him look bad and hence backfire on you.
- Always, and I cannot stress this enough, always push work onto others when possible. Don't be THAT guy.
- Complete your work in as little time as possible. But do not check in code till the very last moment.
- If you work 150% during your first week, everyone will think that it is your 100%. Very very bad idea.
- Making a great first impression means the only way is down. Try for an okay-ish impression so that it leaves room for improvement.
- Network. Talk to as many people as possible. I am terrible at this and know first hand how bad it can get.
- The best employee is one who appears to have worked the most. The one who appears to be always busy. Notice how I said "appear" twice ?
- Do not over promise and under deliver. Under promise and over deliver works great. (For eg, tell them it'll take a week and finish it in two days).
- If your company uses office communicator, Auto Mouse Mover is your best friend. You are welcome.
Finally in the wise words of Batman twisted for real life,
It is not what you do, but what others think you've done that defines you.
If you are looking for actual good advice on work, please to stay clear of this :P
But if you want a laugh, go on.
- You are not the hero they deserve. You are not even the hero they need. So stop being so hyper active and take it slow.
- Your hard work will NOT impress your TL. It will only make him look bad and hence backfire on you.
- Always, and I cannot stress this enough, always push work onto others when possible. Don't be THAT guy.
- Complete your work in as little time as possible. But do not check in code till the very last moment.
- If you work 150% during your first week, everyone will think that it is your 100%. Very very bad idea.
- Making a great first impression means the only way is down. Try for an okay-ish impression so that it leaves room for improvement.
- Network. Talk to as many people as possible. I am terrible at this and know first hand how bad it can get.
- The best employee is one who appears to have worked the most. The one who appears to be always busy. Notice how I said "appear" twice ?
- Do not over promise and under deliver. Under promise and over deliver works great. (For eg, tell them it'll take a week and finish it in two days).
- If your company uses office communicator, Auto Mouse Mover is your best friend. You are welcome.
Finally in the wise words of Batman twisted for real life,
It is not what you do, but what others think you've done that defines you.
