Showing posts with label Laughs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughs. Show all posts

I Hate You, My Friend



For the people who have wronged me,
Here be my curse said whole heartedly;
Dark will be the things thou shall see,
For it comes from yours lovingly :)

A mokka figure will fall in love with thee,
Disturbed at her sight you will forever be;
Her super friend will be your soul mate,
But she has eyes only for your roommate.

The papers will say you won the big lottery,
Only for you to find they printed it all wrongly;
You will challenge me to a game in hamachi,
After defeating you big time, I ll say chi chi.

You will quit your job one fine day,
For an offer with much higher pay;
On the big day you ll be shocked to see,
Sitting on the interview chair ll be me :)

Politics And Facebook

So the election campaigns are going on. I know this from the sudden construction of roads, groups of people wearing vetis popping up all over the town, the drunk Vijaykanth video etc etc. I have never followed politics or know the politicians name except for Mr.Karunanidhi and Ms.Jayalalitha of course.

Most of the election campaigning ideas seem to be based on making a list of stuff they will give for free. But one thing that is puzzling me is, why there is no serious campaigning going on in Facebook. You can argue that only a small portion of people would be affected by this, but still every vote counts.

Now I searched in Facebook to see if Mr.Karunanidhi and Ms.Jayalalitha had profiles in FB :D I found only this for Mr.Karunanithi and these two for Ms.Jayalalitha (no idea if they are authentic :) ). Admittedly the latter has better profiles. But not a great deal of activity on the profiles.

Now there are a lot of ways you can use a profile in Facebook. Consider if Ms.Jayalalitha had posted "If the DMK government promises to give 24 hr electricity for the next term, why not give it right now?"*, imagine the no of people "liking" it or re sharing it. Imagine the effect it would have on the people like me who don't really have a lot of idea on who they should vote for. Especially on the ones who have stopped watching TV and look to Facebook for day to day news.

* - As quoted by Vishnu

They could have even followed the Cricket World Cup and wished Team India all success from their profiles. That would have a mighty positive effect on the people online! And if you see "Ms.Jayalalitha is attending the Support Anna Hazare meeting" on your Facebook wall, you would be impressed.

And the whole thing is not gonna take a lot of time. The parties can even hire a few people from colleges and get the Facebook campaigning going on. An internship for a err "real-time application" like this looks swell on your resume :D


P.S : There is a possibilty that online campaigning is going on a large scale and I am simple unaware of it :D

P.P.S : I hope one day I will see on my FB wall "Opposition Party |> Ruling Party : Pls amend the bill according to the mail we sent you, if you need us to agree on it" :)

5 Sites To Visit When Bored

I know a lot of you people get terribly bored during the holidays. Here is a few sites that are a great time pass.


5. Warez-BB
A site where you find stuff to download. Stuff as in movies/TV series,songs, PC/Console games, e-books. If it is not available in this site, it is almost always never there in the Internet. With JDownloader or similar software, you can find a lot of fun stuff to watch on that site.


4. FML
FML or fmylife is a blog where the public get to post about their everyday incidents. Incidents that are extremely funny only when it happens to someone other than you. An example post is
"Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML"


3. Verydemotivational Pictures
This site has got some seriously funny pictures. Something like





2. xkcd
Okay this one is for the geeks. Site has pictures like the one below.






1. Cracked
One of the best humour sites on the Internet. Just see,
30 Error Messages You Don't Want To See
The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered
The World of Tomorrow (If The Internet Disappeared Today)
8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews

and many more :)

Wow.. Just Wow..

We all have our way of reacting when we are sad. Some shut down and sleep. Some put their head-phones on and listen to slow songs. Some have long chats in GTalk. But there is one way that is a thousand ways better than the fore mentioned ones.

*) Switch on PC.
*) Open your browser. Go to youtube
*) Enter "Sam Anderson". Or even better try "Wilbur Sargunaraj"
*) View videos
*) If you are still sad, then even God cannot help you.

Let me tell about who these people are.

Sam Anderson. Hero of the movie "Yaaruku Yaaro".
His acting is so lol-able that you will roll on the floor laughing. Literally. Seriously, first time I saw him I was laughing so hard on the floor that I couldn't speak for another twenty minutes. This man, apart from helping you get over your sadness, will make you think "Ivane nadikum bothu(If he himself can act), we can do anything we desire". So putting it simply, he is one hell of an inspirational guy though in a purely unintentional way.

Wilbur Sargunaraj. Dance King, Drummer, Musical Sensation.
Check out his site. This guy sings so happily and with such enthusiasm that he is the ultimate role model for any fun-loving person. His song titles like "Appa, Amma I Want The Love Marriage", "Please Check My Blog" and "The Chicken 65 Song" say enough about him. This guy sings so jolly, its a whole new genre. Do check his songs on youtube. Or if you are lucky enough to be in the city where he is performing(Yes! He performs globally), DO NOT MISS IT.

Men like these are a rare species. A really really rare species. They are the true entertainers.
Legends.

Just goes to say what I said in one of my previous post. God is Great :)

The New Batman Trailer

It's out on the net! The new batman trailer! Check this out. Looks great!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AdEHOta-Uc

In School

.) History was a boring subject. It had nothing more to do with academics or social life.

.) A committed guy was a hard working guy.

.) Ex stood for example or exercise. It had nothing to do with the first point.

.) Attending the first period was compulsory. So was carrying a bag.

.) Subjects did not have strange names like Organisational Behavior or Total Quality Management.

.) You ate lunch everyday.

.) Sitting boy, girl, boy, girl was a punishment.

.) Boys hung out with boys and girls hung out with girls. For the most part at least :)

Exam Superstitions

Everyone has their own superstitions during exam time. Three years in college and I think the superstitions of me and my friends have only become weirder. Here is what we do to ensure we write the exams well.

.) When I start studying, the time has to be a round-ed off number like 7,8,9 etc. Postpone the start till such a number it reached.

.) Same applies for the time I start to write exams. Sadly my sem exams start at 1:45. So I lose 15 min every exam.

.) A friend of my cousin needs to see the stray dog around their department before going to the hall.

.) A friend wears the same jean the next time if he did the previous exam well. Even if it is unwashed.

.) Sowmy needs to take his scientific calculator to all his exams. Even if it is only English.

.) Me and Sowmy have to drink water just before entering the hall.

.) Me and my friends have to go to the examination hall in the same path every day.

.) Added recently, me and Sowmy need to see a certain someone to do the exams well.

.) Added more recently, I shouldn't see a certain someone else to do the exams well.

.) My bag has to be kept near Sowmy's bag. Even if we are in different halls.

.) Finally, I always need to have more than one blue pen. Even if one doesn't write.

Mathematics

I finish my Maths exam early and look at all the calculations I have done so far in my Scientific Calculator (using the up arrow thing). Here are some.

7 * 3 = 21
16 - 4 = 12
12 * 2 = 24
23 - 7 = 16
2000 + 1000 = 3000
2000 / 2 = 1000
...
..
.


Moral : It's high time I started learning simple addition and subtraction. Again.

Random

Just a few random thoughts here..

If you are impulsive few times and lazy the other times, it leads to disastrous effects.

If something goes too well, it means you are going to face a whole new level of comedy soon.

Being an introvert denies you a few joy. And a lot of trouble.

Give something a lot of thought and you will f it up.

If you are good at something, there is always someone better at it.

Life is not a sin curve to have an up, a normal and a low. It is a tan curve with an all-time-high followed by an all-time-low to gradually high again.

Mates before muffs. Our mates know it, the other doesn't.

They say we must be like the phoenix which rises again from its ashes. They don't tell you that the phoenix is born again as a baby and has to struggle for a while before reaching its prime again.

What is life is but a dream :)

A confused mind is a disease. It soon makes the others confused too.

You can write a blog out of anything in your life :P

Everything ends. Except nothing.

New Year Resolutions :)

I will no longer spend long hours gaming,
Rather I will concentrate more on studying;

I will not waste my time in vetti websites,
And find a physical activity like flying kites;

I will no longer think lazyness is good for me,
And accept the fact that hardwork is the key;

I will take notes in all the classes I attend,
And not be playing hollywood with my friend;

I will no longer cut classes for no reason,
And consider bunking an act of treason;

Importantly, tomorrow when I see this thing,
I shall not burst out laughing.

Happy New Year Ppl :)

News? Do Not Kid Me!

We live in times were almost every news seen/heard is manipulated so much that the very reason for those news channel seems to be in no longer delivering news but getting more ads. Here are few such instances.

*)What They Reported :

"American President advices Americans to not travel to India". Mr.Chidambaram "talks tough" saying "We will ask their government to retract their statement as India is a secure country".

I saw this news and was amazed for such a statement from their President would do no good in improving the relationship between the two countries. Then they showed the actual videos of what the two people had said.

What Actually Happened:

American President tells Americans in India to be always alert and keep a low profile due to the recent terrorist activities in our country. (No mention of "Don't go" there). Our Home Minister when asked about this said "I am not aware of any such statement. If they given such a statement we will tell them to take it back".
After a few hours the "If" part was cut out and only the "Take it back" was shown. And they ran this piece for the full day!

*)What They Reported :

"Dhoni loses cool : The Sehwag Injury Fiasco"
"Sehwag hid his injury on his shoulder from the BCCI and the Captain and it was akward for Dhoni when details of the injury was asked. This happens after Dhoni reportedly clashed with his Vice-Captain Sehwag.Dhoni then lost his calm..."

Then a video where a reporter blamed Dhoni for leaking the news. Dhoni - coolly - asked him "Are you blaming? No, you just said I leaked the news in front all these people. So are you accusing me?..." Ofcourse after an hour all this was cut out. Only the "Are you accusing me" bit was shown with other videos of ppl diving in the recent IPL. Hmm

What Actually Happened:

Sehwag got injured in IPL. Everyone hoped he would recover in time. He didn't. So the injury was revealed. So all that happend was an injured player was sent back to India. This piece of news ran for quite a few days!

*) I got this as a forward in my cell :)

"Sun News has put this as a "breaking news" : 'Masilamani is great hit' in their channel. Is this really a news? What a pathetic situation."

Thank God there a few -very few actually- who still try and deliver the actual news. Cheers to them for honesty and others for imagination.

Iyyo Iyyo

This is a conversation my dad overheard in the bus when he came from Chennai to Madurai to visit me. It was during the err 'Alagar going around the city festival' when a group of people spray water on who ever they can.

...
Guy X : Ya, I am new to the city.
Guy Y : This is a big festival sir. You know me and my parents have lived many years in Chennai. But the crowd here is so much more than in Chennai ( The "crowded" place was looking like a half empty Ranganathan street!).
Guy X : Oh, I didn't know Madurai was such a big place.
Guy Y : It is sir. After the next turn is the Kamarajar Salai. It is the Madurai equivalent of Mount Road (Whaaaaaaaat???). Its as long as Mount Road. Maybe longer(Omg!). There is also new complex coming in that road like that Spencer Plaza...

(Unfortuntately my dad had to get down on the Kamarajar Salai stop where my house is. Pity we missed the rest of the conversation)
Pride on hometown is ok dude. But this kinda "reel vudrathu" is just too much!

How Long Can I Go

Well having seen my share of novels and movies in my life, I have, for a very long time wondered just how long a sentence I can write in English without commiting any possible grammatical and semantic mistakes as known to me and hence I have decided to give this a try now here in this blog by stringing together as many clauses as I possibly can (for this sentence is a Complex sentence and not a simple or compound sentence) along with few other adjectives that immediately jump into my mind, which I must say is actually in a relaxed and happy state for I just noticed India win the ODI against Sri Lanka quite comfortably, and I hope that you read this, keeping in mind the fact that if I had used certain swear words like f... this sentence could have been much longer and appreciate this attempt of a fellow human who has tried this only because he is very bored thanks to the fact that he does not have much else to do. :)

P.S : Suggestions on elongating this sentence are most welcome. ;)

Revelations out of Sickness To A Friend

If you are wondering what exactly i mean just refer this :)


- If it is starting of a semester, staff will be see you as a calm student in class.

- Sleeping is just not fun anymore.

- You will find yourself writing notes simply due to boredom.

- Going to the canteen alone :(

- Break and lunch time turns from "free time" to "class-like time".

- Lying to your parents about seeing him. They wont allow it because you would get the sickness from him.

- Sudden prayers to God(?)

- More than usual amount of Fifa :)

- Sudden increase in messages from him/her.

- No need to worry about cricket score update.

- Sudden increase of people in your class.

- Telling your friend size of the needle does matter.

-Lying to him that "The Machinist" was a good movie.

-And after he returns, more place in the bench for me to sit :P

10 Things Parents Must Know About Their Younger Child

Being a younger brother, I know how things go with parents and the "big" brother. But whatever happens most parents don't seem to get few things like...

-> We are not a smaller version of our brother.

-> Big brothers are physically stronger than us. So we re not stupid enough to have started a fight with him, whatever he says.

-> We do not appreciate being told how good our big brother was.

-> We and they do not face the same competition. Ours is more tougher.

-> When we do something, like telling a lie, we are not doing it exactly like our brother. We are doing it like a billion other people.

->We do not exactly enjoy when someone says "You will maybe one day become like your brother".

-> Just because they are bit older than us does not mean we have to take his share of the beatings.

-> It is not technically possible for me to score more marks in 10th than he did in 12th. I write for 1100, he writes for 1200.

-> We are not responsible for his low marks in his Board exam.

-> It is not my fault I am not as tall as my brother. It is not, in most cases, biologically possible.

The SUPERstitious Beliefs

Well it's a Friday night and I am sitting in the front of my house just looking at passing by vehicles. Then I notice something weird. The shopkeeper near my house sets fire to something outside his shop. When I asked my Grandmother she explains that it improves his buisness. Hmmm.
We have so many superstitious beliefs that sound stupid but are very very true. Don't believe me? Here are the proofs for some :)

First. The burning before the shop. Well this is a very good tactic if any other shopkeeper near your house has any breathing problems. If you continue to burn stuff that guy s gonna get irritated and vacate the place. Another good thing is if you add some nice ingredients into that fire the horrible odor it emits can effectively keep away thieves at night. Last and finally watching something burn gives some people personal satisfaction.

Second. Remember when you bought your first new bike and your parents made you ride it over a lemon first? Trust me it has it's uses. If your bike skids and falls at that time you will remember that the next time you drive near a market. More importantly lemons are good Antibacterials. So you are cleaning up the floor! And let's face it, we all like the smell of fresh lemon juice.

Third. The concept of "ave kannu vachita". Now if we think properly when do we say "ave onna pathu kannu vachita" huh? When initially we have been acting like a jerk and showing off stuff when we should have kept our mouths shut. So basically when something bad happens the next time and someone says this, you are gonna become the most modest person ever right?

Fourth. Going to the temple at the wake of dawn and going round some God for 9 times(someone said the no. of times must be a multiple of 3). It s the perfect solution to get people out of their beds early and the "walking around" gives us the physical exercise we all so need and so not care about. The idea of keeping to multiples of 9 simply helps you get better at counting.

Fifth. The idea of something wrong going to happen when a cat walks across your path. Now if a cat does cross your path you are gonna be extra careful right? That s something no amount of advice can achieve. Also we marry donkeys to get rain right? Well that s done during the dry summer season when even the animals are all out of food. In the name of marriage we are doing the job of the Blue Cross.

There are many such explanations for all the so-called "Superstitious" beliefs. So next time you see someone doing anything like this, think before you speak.

I am not saying these superstitions are right. I am merely saying that behind these seemingly crazy stuffs there might be a sensible person trying to reach out to a not-so-sensible crowd.

Chennai -> Madurai

Well i had spent most of higher education (if you wanna call that an education) in Chennai determined to be a comp sc engg but after my 12th fate decided to play spoil sport. I go to counseling only to find no chennai college (the govt colleges in which my mom decided to put me in for reasons i could not fathom) offered me that branch. So i chose to go to Madurai TCE to study comp sc. I packed up an got on my train to the town called Madurai.

My station is 10 min away. I pack all my stuff an go to the door.Something was very wrong. I was the only one at the door. Damn. Train arrives at the station and i get down quickly. My first thought "Where the hell are all the people?" for the station was not full of people. "Perhaps people have other means of transportation here". As i keep walking i sense something else is also odd. I can't quite find out why. I was about to leave the station when my eyes fell on the dust bin in a corner. "Ofcourse. This station s clean. Too clean for my liking anyway."
Next i go to the bus stop.A fully crowded bus. "Ah finally something is right." Out of sheer habit i leave it knowing i ll see 2 or 3 buses following it. No. "Buses seem to come in singles here it seems". I wait for half an hour and reach my grand mother s place at around 9pm.
Before i even think about what to eat my grand mother brings a bowl full of a white powdery food which looked vaguely familiar. Ofcourse. "Puttu". It had been ages since i ate those. She gives me 5 rupees and tells me to get some more. (And it wasn't April 1!) I go to the shop. He gives me so much i take my 50 rupee note out.He asks for change. I give him the 5 rupee coin while searching for more change. And he gave me 2 rupees back. "What the hell?". I stay home the next day.
College orientation. Everything goes as expected.
First Day First Period. A Chem Sir enters. "Good Morning students. Today we ll see about water. It's formu...". "What the f...?" The guy was actually teaching. Shock of the day. My class mates seemed all quite calm and seemed to be padipalis. The feeling of something gone wrong again creeps up. Can't place it. Rest of the day is pretty dull.
Few Days Pass By. I try speaking to my class mates but fail miserably. I find out what was wrong. My interests were totally different from most of them. Next shock. Someone asks me "What s harry potter da?"."Holy mother of God". No one seems to have the habit of reading books. I later find out there were few but too few.
As days pass by i notice few boys shouting some girl's name in presence of a boy whenever the chance came. They called it "otifying". I later find out tat the reason behind all the shouting was because the boy had borrowed a pen from the girl. In college i also notice another strange phenomenon. Few boys keep disappearing whenever their cell rang. Seems he doesn't want anyone to know he s talking to a girl. "Great. Now i ll never talk to a girl myself." Well i was never great at "kadalai" anyway. So no harm there.
With no one to discuss Godfather or LOTR or Potter or Warrior Within i live like a nomad during my first sem. I pray to God to do something. And he did do something. Second sem i am put in another class. This time the whole class is from my dept. My eyes fall on three people. Something stirred in my heart. "Maybe God has answered my prayers." I talked to my class mates. Salvation. I am now no longer an atheist.